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WE HAVE MOVED TO A NEW SITE!!! http://www.mommyhood-shivonne-costa.squarespace.com/ As of June 18, 2015, this is our new location. Please come join us!! I started blogging the week I got married. I thought it would be nice to blog the full first year, you know, to cherish those memories and share them with my family and friends. Little did I know, it was going to be my greatest coping skill for the craziness that comes with marriage! I found writing to be a fantastic way to reframe an ugly marital spat into a humorous event, allowing me to smile at the situation by the end of the post. And now, I am honored to share my struggles and joys of fostering, adopting, birthing, and raising 4 beautiful children. It's my hope that others gain laughter and new ways to see their own frustrating life situation through my writing. Because I love to write! PS, look for me on Facebook - "Mommyhood-Shivonne Costa"

Saturday, September 8, 2012

And The Grossest Child Award Goes To....

     I have decided that kids are gross. I'm not sure if other mothers have come to this conclusion about their kids as well, but mine actually triggered my gag reflex (twice) today. This morning, Cameron had an issue with hitting (again), so after a firm talking to (him being utterly yelled at for the regularly repeated offense) he was mopey and sent for a nap. Well, the nap was not going to happen apparently.... but alas, he emerged an hour later a much happier little boy. He came into my room holding something behind his back, telling me that he had a surprise for me. Awwww, apparently my horrific tantrum towards him didn't damage him that badly, yay!
     "Hold out your arm," he said with a toothless grin. I put my arm out in front of me as my child began to secure a bracelet made of thin rope, beads, and lego tires to my wrist. But something was very wrong....
     "Cameron.... why is the bracelet dripping wet?"
     "Well, I had to wet the rope to get the beads on," he answered.
      Now, I know that he hadn't come out of his room to use the sink, as my room is directly across from the bathroom....so I know that this cold, damp, stickiness is one of two things.
      "Um, exactly what did you wet it with, Cam?" (Cringing as I awaited the answer.)
      "I just put it in my mouth to make the rope soft," he said proudly.
       Gag reflex #1.... because ordinarily, spit grosses me out. But CAMERON'S spit smells like week-old, raw sewage that's crawling with maggots and beginning to decay in the middle of July. I tried my hardest to think about other things as he spent the next 10 minutes working on making the bunny ears to get this stinky shackle tied onto my wrist. I thanked and hugged him for my gift and waited as long as I could for him to tell me a story that seemed to take an hour to finish..... but I could wait no longer. I told him I had to use the bathroom, and as I shut the door behind me, I began to scrub my arm with sudsy water as quickly and thoroughly as I could, dry-heaving into the sink. I COULDN'T get the smell out.... so I added febreeze, which helped a little, but not enough. However, he was so happy that he made me jewelry, I just couldn't take it off. So for the rest of the evening, anytime I put my hand near my face I felt queasy all over again.
     Gag reflex #2 was set off by my daughter in the car on the way home this evening. We were all minding our own business, having a lovely time, when we caught a sudden whiff of skunk which seemed to be coming from INSIDE the vehicle. We actually had to roll all of the windows down as we sped along down the freeway. With eyes burning and shirts over our noses, my husband tried to hold back his laughter as he demanded to know who the repulsive culprit was. I turned around as Taylor answered, "It wasn't me!" while her index finger was about 6 inches up her nose. But I could see the traces of a smirk and I knew that a smell like that could only mean one of two things.... either she has a skunk down her pants, or we have the grossest children ever in our family. (It was the latter.)

3 comments:

  1. Just imagine what you could find in diapers! Let me tell you I have had a few gaggers! Everyone's kids are gross atleast part of the time so dont worry...you are not alone! However you should get out once in a while too! Let me know when you and Pat have a chance to go do something with Farmer Jon and I! :-) lol

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  2. I'm thinking the jewelry your son made you with such affection could be washed with soap and water and hung to dry, then fabreezed and that might help. As far as Taylor; what in the world did you feed her to create such a fowl oder; and letting it out in the car was just pay back for the fireworks display a few days earlier by you know who...LOL...picking the nose....well as long as she doesn't eat it; it may not be so bad.

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  3. Lol....yes be very happy you bypassed the diaper stage! I just don't understand how formula goes in one way and comes back out so disgusting and smelly! If you ever long for these baby days I will gladly loan you Amelionna stinky diaper and all! Hang in there girl....you're doing an amazing job and those kids are so blessed to have you as a mommy! Let's get our little ones together soon. Love ya! Christy

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