Wolf Bait

WARNING:

This post contains a less-than flowery depiction of children ranging from ages 4-6.

     

FOR SALE:

Two children, ages 4-6.

(Will take best offer)

(...or free to a good home)

     Every few weeks or so it seems that I get re-bitten by the Bipolar bug. Thoughts begin to run through my mind such as, "I wonder why God chose to populate the earth by using such crazy things as children?", and "I think it's about time I get that hysterectomy... ya know, just to be safe.", and "Hey! Let's hire a sitter for the night and then... move away! (We'll send the kids a post card, without a return address.)"
     These regular cycles of actually liking and disliking the short people that live in my home are akin to those associated with menstruation.... except that children don't make me bloat, and PMS doesn't make me homicidal. But my favorite part of this parenting experience is the large number of people that tell you, "Oh, what your kid is doing is totally normal." Oh my gosh, really?? If that's the case, why in the WORLD are people still having sex? It's a wonder that word hasn't spread like wildfire : BEWARE! CHILDREN ARE ROTTEN! USE ABSTINENCE!!! I mean, seriously, in the animal kingdom, it's survival of the fittest. If you're the obnoxious, tattling, argumentative young in the animal pack that's drawing the attention of a predator, you'd quickly become wolf-bait. "Charlie was a sweet squirrel, but he just wouldn't stop whining... so we had to let him go." And the rest of the squirrels would understand!
     Now, I'm not saying I would feed my kids to a pack of wolves just because they're being disobedient little stinkers.... wait, am I saying that?? Regardless, it truly is amazing that our nation is as over-populated as it is. You can almost see where China is coming from, regulating the number of children each couple can have. It's not because the country doesn't have the room for these kids, it's just that they don't have the tolerance to put up with them outnumbering the parents and, thus, causing them to go insane!
     Well, obviously, my Bipolar swing is in full force (it has been all weekend, hence my lack of blogging for a few days. I didn't feel that it was very Christian of me to subject you all to more than one day of this horrid attitude that has overtaken my insides!). My usual self-help remedies and coping skills to manage these drastic mood swings have become virtually impossible while caring for a newborn. Sadly, the baby is the only one NOT driving me utterly bonkers... but have you ever tried playing the piano while holding a screaming infant? Or doing yoga while trying to keep a bottle in his mouth? Or talk on the phone to a friend while the baby wails into the receiver, as you try to hold it against your ear with your shoulder, causing it to slip right out and shatter into 3 pieces on your kitchen floor??? Yeah, how's THAT for stress-relief!
     But my "medication" is finally kicking in.... I was able to go to church and get my worship on (blessedly the baby slept the entire time and my husband kept the kids' incessant demands to a minimum) and we heard an awesome message. I was also able to spend some time yesterday and today with friends (my husband, ever the saint, returned home from work and took the kids for 3 hours, giving me some much-needed time away!). And now, I've got a sleeping baby beside me, two larger versions sleeping just down the hall, and dogs cuddled at my feet. Here in this moment, it's hard to believe that I was stressed at all. However, I do not let myself forget that in a matter of hours, everyone will awaken, full of renewed energy and mischievousness, and the work week will be in full swing, and I will once again consider the wolves.... but for now, I'm going to rest and enjoy the peace that is finally in my home.... well, as soon as I change this last diaper... or get the septic tank pumped, whichever the case may be.