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WE HAVE MOVED TO A NEW SITE!!! http://www.mommyhood-shivonne-costa.squarespace.com/ As of June 18, 2015, this is our new location. Please come join us!! I started blogging the week I got married. I thought it would be nice to blog the full first year, you know, to cherish those memories and share them with my family and friends. Little did I know, it was going to be my greatest coping skill for the craziness that comes with marriage! I found writing to be a fantastic way to reframe an ugly marital spat into a humorous event, allowing me to smile at the situation by the end of the post. And now, I am honored to share my struggles and joys of fostering, adopting, birthing, and raising 4 beautiful children. It's my hope that others gain laughter and new ways to see their own frustrating life situation through my writing. Because I love to write! PS, look for me on Facebook - "Mommyhood-Shivonne Costa"

Friday, July 5, 2013

Home Alone

     Shhh.... we have to whisper... I'm home alone and don't want break the spell of peace and quiet that has descended over my house. My husband graciously took the kids camping this evening with some friends of ours. He and our three insane shorties are soon-to-be cuddled up closely in a two-person tent while this free Mama gets to relax in an entire house all by her lonesome. (Aw, shucks....)
     Before leaving this evening, Taylor said, "But Mom, won't you get lonely all by yourself? Don't you want to come camp with us??" Naturally, I lied to her and told her how sad I would be all by myself, but that Mama has to work very early in the morning and she needs her sleep.... well, that and the thought of poison ivy all over my freakishly poison-ivy free body makes me want to run and hide until the Fall.
     I would like to joyously report (in a joyous whisper, of course) that I did NOT spend my time home alone doing chores. Sure, I looked at the overflowing laundry basket growing in the corner of my bedroom, and I contemplated the thick dust bunnies strolling across my floor, and I even gaped at the grimy toilets (oh dear Lord, the toilets!). But in the end, I decided that relaxation and peace were a much better choice. The toilets (oohhh, the toilets...) will still be here tomorrow (and possibly the next day, let's just keep it real, here) so no need to squander these precious moments on ridiculous cleaning. I choose peace for this evening.
     My children have an interesting, yet basically accurate idea of what peace is. In our home, we've been working on learning the Fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control). After two weeks of struggling to remember more than "lovely" and "being kind" (both said with question marks dangling over their heads), I realized that not only do my kids have incredibly poor working memories, but they have no idea what they're trying to recite. And who can remember something when it means nothing to them in the first place? (Just ask my 8th grade history teacher....) To rectify this problem, we talked about each individual fruit and then gave examples of how we can show that fruit in our lives. When we got to the third Fruit of the Spirit, Taylor defined peace as this:
     "Peace is when you go into your room and hide from us, right?"
     "Umm, not exactly...."
     Cameron chimed in. "Then why do you say 'Why can't I just get some PEACE and quiet???'"
     "Why can you remember that but you can't remember a single Fruit of the Spirit?"
     "Hey, I remember self-ishness."
     "It's self-control, Cameron.... self-control."
     Perhaps the exact definition of peace needs a little work, but the overall concept is pretty much spot on! So tonight, I decided to claim me some peace. I "hid" in my house away from all other distractions and noise and just enjoyed being quiet, letting the moment take me where it wanted to take me. I did a few dishes, but only because I wanted to.... it seemed peaceful at that moment. And I finished a song I had been working on at the piano (oh, those days long ago when I would write more than just a blog....) and it was peaceful. And then I watched a bunch of Duck Dynasty re-runs.... and I thought of how Cameron can never remember Phil's "Happy, happy, happy". He gets as far as the second "happy" and then just stares in confusion while I gaze at him, baffled that he can't remember the last word of a one-word phrase (there goes that working memory again).
     And then I cleaned up dog puke.... peacefully, of course. But not just because I was missing 4 other sets of feet in my home tracking the puke to other areas of the house, but because it sometimes takes a little Home Alone time to remember that peace is not situational. What good is having peace only in the absence of others? ('Cause that would mean I'd only be getting me some peace every few months or so!) Peace is a state of mind that allows us to close the door on daily stressors, hide from anxieties and chaos that are constantly knocking on our minds' door, and get some much needed peace and quiet. The working memories are poor, but my kids have much more wisdom than they realize!

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