Trains, Weddings, and Birthday Parties

     Michigan is my home state. It's flat, it's where my family lives, it's about 6 hours away, and my kids are utterly certain that the entire state is jam packed from border to border with trains. I'm not sure where they got this idea, but they must've overheard me talking with my parents on the phone a while ago about the fact that it would be nice for the kids to see a couple of the historic railroads whenever we come for a long visit. Keep in mind, my two can't remember how to clean their rooms, where their shoes go, or to flush a toilet. But they'll darn well remember that they once heard the words "Michigan" and "train" in the same sentence.
     We happen to be traveling to Michigan this weekend to visit my family, friends, and attend my cousin's wedding. This is the conversation I was priveledged to have with the kids in preparation for our journey:
     "Yay! We get to take the train to Michigan!" (Cam)
     "No, Cam, we're taking the car." (Me)
     "Are we taking the car to the train?" (Taylor)
     "No, Tay, we're driving all the way to Michigan in the car." (Me)
     "What car?" (Tay)
     "OUR car..." (Me)
     "Will our car fit on the train?" (Cam)
     "Listen very carefully, guys.... NO TRAIN. JUST THE CAR." (Me)
     "So we'll just see the train but we won't ride on it, right? Because we're taking our car...." (Tay)
     (Oh my gosh, seriously? I've had conversations with my grandfather, who has alzheimers, that sink in quicker than this.)
     "Taylor, look at my face.... we will not ride a train, look at a train, touch a train, hear a train, or even say the word 'train' during our trip. Do you understand?" (Me)
     "So we will just have to take the train home instead, I guess." (Tay)
     "I'd like to lay down in front of a train...." (Me)
     "Grandma Dora said there are trains by her house... why can't we go see them??" (Cam... getting whiney)
     "Guys, I'm not doing this anymore.... I know you love trains and we can go see a train on another visit, but we're only going to be going home for a short visit and will have no time for train rides." (Me)
     "What's a wedding?" (Tay)
     "It's a party where people get married." (Me)
     "Is it a birthday?" (Tay)
     "Nope, a wedding." (Me)
     "So will your cousin be married when we get there?" (Cam)
     "NO, we are going to watch her get married and then have a party to celebrate." (Me)
     "And then it will be her birthday?" (Tay)
     "Oh my.... Do you hear me when I speak? Ugh, go outside....Just.... Go, please!" (Me)
     "Hey, Cameron, let's play Birthday Party and get married!" (Tay)
     "Ew, gross.... I can't marry my brother!" (Cam)
     "SHE'S YOUR SISTER!!!" (Me)

     And this is why we are leaving for our 6 hour treck at bedtime and traveling through the night....