There are numerous behaviors that are not tolerated in our home. We certainly don't allow hitting or hurting people of any kind, swearing, stealing, lying, etc. These are parental rules that are probably common for most homes. We know that when behavior A occurs, then consequence B follows. These rules are ingrained into each of us without too much difficulty. Even when a child engages in one of these no-no's, they look to make sure no one saw them, because they intrinsically know these household laws.
And then there are the things that aren't life-threatening. The behaviors that annoy each mother uniquely but thoroughly... they are the things that make you cringe deep down and want to scream "AAHHH!" at the top of your lungs. I've come to realize (rather passionately, I must admit) that I have many more "pet peeves" now that I'm a mother than I ever had prior to this stage of life. Even my husband's crazy, quirkish ways are being rivaled by these two, small nut-balls that pose as innocent children. These are my Mother peeves.
Sand. The inventor of the sandbox is probably a second cousin to Adolph Hitler, because only someone with that much evil in their DNA would put a family through this grittiness. In fact, I'm pretty sure there's a special place spoken of in Dante's Inferno for any person that says, "Hey! I have a great idea! Let's put the beach into a box and keep it at YOUR house so that there's a handful of sand in every room! And I'm gonna charge you money for it!" Sand in the hair, sand in the eyes, sand down the pants, sand in the teeth.... No, Taylor, it's not ok to make sand angels. Nor is it ok, Cameron, to throw sand at your sister, let alone with her mouths and eyes OPEN.
Using non-toy items as toys. The garden hose attachment is NOT a shovel. My make-up is NOT paint. The pool skimmer is NOT a sand sifter, bug catcher, or sword. If I would've known that kids didn't want real toys, I could've saved a bundle! Here's some old batteries, a broken rake, and an ice cream container. Go to town! Although I'm pretty sure that if I started filling cereal bowls with legos and using stuffed animals as dog toys, I'd certainly have to hear about it. But there's a small part of me that would rather get even.... I literally have had visions of putting a baby doll in the dishwasher, just to see what would happen. Or completely disassembling a DS and telling them to "Have fun" when they want to play it. Oh, it stinks to have your stuff messed up when you go to use it, eh? I never would've guessed.... maybe when Santa brings me a new remote control, he'll remember to bring you a tractor that still has it's wheels.
"Why did you do that???" followed by an "I don't know...." If you didn't have a reason to do something, why in the world would you waste time getting in trouble for doing it? For once, I'd like to ask the question, "Why did you break that toy?" and hear "Because I was really curious to see what was holding this thing together inside," or "Because I'm angry and thought that I'd feel better by breaking something." I'm pretty sure if a police officer pulled me over for speeding and asked me why I was breaking the law, he wouldn't be alright with an "I don't know..." Learn to give a reason! Make one up, if you have to, but the next "I don't know..." will be followed by an "AAHHH!!!!" from me.
Throwing socks away. Today my son actually threw his sock into a field. Why? "I don't know..." Seriously? After I made him go find his sock (which took quite a while, as we have quite a large field) he came back and "remembered" that he threw it in the field because it got dirty. Because that's where all dirty clothes go is in a field. (Duh.) And the countless socks and underwear I've found tossed into the garbage instead of into the dirty clothes hamper is truly incredible. I'm not sure if the kids think that new underclothes will magically appear in their dressers or if they just love throwing money out the window. Either way, I'm pretty sure I'll scream when I one day find that missing black sock of Cameron's in the wood pile out back or in the bottom of the recycling bin.
Fingerprints on walls. If I wanted the finger-painted look throughout my house, I would've hired a team of 5-year-olds and set them free with a gallon of paint. However, I chose to paint the walls of my home solid colors, and the colors that I chose were not called "Dirty Grime" or "Crusty Booger". It's almost as if children feel that the wall will cease to exist if they aren't touching it at all times... feet, fingers, or entire bodies slide across my walls all day long. Had I known that children were like this, I would've bought stock in Mr. Clean's Magic Erasers years ago.
What things make YOU go "AAHHH!!!" ?
And then there are the things that aren't life-threatening. The behaviors that annoy each mother uniquely but thoroughly... they are the things that make you cringe deep down and want to scream "AAHHH!" at the top of your lungs. I've come to realize (rather passionately, I must admit) that I have many more "pet peeves" now that I'm a mother than I ever had prior to this stage of life. Even my husband's crazy, quirkish ways are being rivaled by these two, small nut-balls that pose as innocent children. These are my Mother peeves.
Sand. The inventor of the sandbox is probably a second cousin to Adolph Hitler, because only someone with that much evil in their DNA would put a family through this grittiness. In fact, I'm pretty sure there's a special place spoken of in Dante's Inferno for any person that says, "Hey! I have a great idea! Let's put the beach into a box and keep it at YOUR house so that there's a handful of sand in every room! And I'm gonna charge you money for it!" Sand in the hair, sand in the eyes, sand down the pants, sand in the teeth.... No, Taylor, it's not ok to make sand angels. Nor is it ok, Cameron, to throw sand at your sister, let alone with her mouths and eyes OPEN.
Using non-toy items as toys. The garden hose attachment is NOT a shovel. My make-up is NOT paint. The pool skimmer is NOT a sand sifter, bug catcher, or sword. If I would've known that kids didn't want real toys, I could've saved a bundle! Here's some old batteries, a broken rake, and an ice cream container. Go to town! Although I'm pretty sure that if I started filling cereal bowls with legos and using stuffed animals as dog toys, I'd certainly have to hear about it. But there's a small part of me that would rather get even.... I literally have had visions of putting a baby doll in the dishwasher, just to see what would happen. Or completely disassembling a DS and telling them to "Have fun" when they want to play it. Oh, it stinks to have your stuff messed up when you go to use it, eh? I never would've guessed.... maybe when Santa brings me a new remote control, he'll remember to bring you a tractor that still has it's wheels.
"Why did you do that???" followed by an "I don't know...." If you didn't have a reason to do something, why in the world would you waste time getting in trouble for doing it? For once, I'd like to ask the question, "Why did you break that toy?" and hear "Because I was really curious to see what was holding this thing together inside," or "Because I'm angry and thought that I'd feel better by breaking something." I'm pretty sure if a police officer pulled me over for speeding and asked me why I was breaking the law, he wouldn't be alright with an "I don't know..." Learn to give a reason! Make one up, if you have to, but the next "I don't know..." will be followed by an "AAHHH!!!!" from me.
Throwing socks away. Today my son actually threw his sock into a field. Why? "I don't know..." Seriously? After I made him go find his sock (which took quite a while, as we have quite a large field) he came back and "remembered" that he threw it in the field because it got dirty. Because that's where all dirty clothes go is in a field. (Duh.) And the countless socks and underwear I've found tossed into the garbage instead of into the dirty clothes hamper is truly incredible. I'm not sure if the kids think that new underclothes will magically appear in their dressers or if they just love throwing money out the window. Either way, I'm pretty sure I'll scream when I one day find that missing black sock of Cameron's in the wood pile out back or in the bottom of the recycling bin.
Fingerprints on walls. If I wanted the finger-painted look throughout my house, I would've hired a team of 5-year-olds and set them free with a gallon of paint. However, I chose to paint the walls of my home solid colors, and the colors that I chose were not called "Dirty Grime" or "Crusty Booger". It's almost as if children feel that the wall will cease to exist if they aren't touching it at all times... feet, fingers, or entire bodies slide across my walls all day long. Had I known that children were like this, I would've bought stock in Mr. Clean's Magic Erasers years ago.
What things make YOU go "AAHHH!!!" ?
If you had left the walls the color I had them (tan...which I loved) they could have hid the "Dirty Grime" or "Crusty Booger" smudges. This is the price you pay for never listening to me
ReplyDelete